Make me an instrument of your peace

-June 25th 2019-

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

The prayer of St.Francis of Assissi fell out of Delilah Lockwood’s mouth in a softness that only someone so pure could produce. The words would flow from her mouth with grace and elegance almost as if they were made for her to speak them aloud to the holy spirit. Perhaps they only came out the way they did because it had been weeks and weeks of the same thing every day and night.

-=June 11th 2019-

A week to the day after giving Father Frederick the hush money to keep the broken chandelier a secret from Mr.Lockwood is when Delilah had made the first contact unknowingly getting herself into the grasps of the devil himself.

It was yet another Sunday where the young Lockwood had done her whole routine. Starting the day off with waking up and immediately getting her athletic leggings on to pair with her tank top and hoodie. On the way out she would clutch her ear buds in her hand as she used the shoe horn to slip each of her runners on before softly placing the shoe horn back on the hook in the foyer closet.

Once that door would open exposing her to the outside world and she took that first deep breath it almost felt as if there was a restart button being pressed to start a brand new week and to let go of any of her prior problems that she had previously in the last week. It was always a therapeutic run. It would start by running passed the Vallas house and eventually the Tanaka house before she’d run off into the trails that ran along this half of New Rome and weaved behind their houses.

The trail would wind around different parts and run parallel to a stream, the sound was so soothing, the running water always felt as if it was supporting her and with her the whole time, the two were in a race in the nature alone. It was back here that she’d have little flashbacks to when her and her friends would play back here, anywhere to get away from the grips of reality.

Delilah came up on another road that wasn’t the usual Augustus Avenue that she lived on. Instead she was running down Vulcan lane where all the houses looked fairly similar and were way too close together for comfort, but in the distance you could see one lone house that wasn’t so close to the rest of them. That was the residence of the Nolastname’s, which just so happened to be where Delilah was going, because from there she’d run down to the gate so she could run up the other side of Augustus Avenue.

This time the brunette would come up to the Maddox house, the place where Delilah remembered spending a lot of her time. Nostalgia would flow through her every time she passed the house, especially in the time that Skye was gone and then would later be declared dead. That was a hard moment on everyone in the neighbourhood, even for her father, William Lockwood. Delilah could have sworn she had seen him shed a tear or at least show some form of emotion. No one knew how hard that moment was on Delilah though. Despite the trials and tribulations the two had over the years, she had really spent a lot of time with the family for various reasons.

Not to mention it wasn’t just Skye that she had lost, but in the midst of growing apart from Skye one of her friends she did have left was Dominic De Luca. The two had met one summer during war games. They weren’t crazy best friends but they had grown close and to the point sometimes they’d just chill out by the Tiber for a few hours with Bear. Dominic was just the sort of person that was easy to talk to and he wasn’t really at many parties either. The day Skye was declared dead, so was Dominic. Delilah was a mess, but she always kept herself together for Nancy and Charles, she couldn’t imagine the grief they had.

The last house she would run passed before getting back to the safety of her own house would be the Reid house. The Reid’s were a family Delilah had known practically her whole life as her father was friends with Sam Reid. Not to mention her older sister grew up to end up dating the oldest son of Sam, Augustine. Delilah could remember when she was just a bit younger it was always her and Lachlan that her father would try to push on her, but Lachlan was so far from a crush it wasn’t even funny. There was no hatred for Lachlan ever, he was just the brother she never had in her eyes.

Roughly an hour since the last time she had been at this front door, but she entered it and took her shoes off while breathing heavily. Her routine would then guide her to continue climbing the stairs that’d take her to the shower and her wardrobe where she’d get ready for the day. Sunday’s always meant a dress whether she liked it or not, so this week she was a black dress with sunflowers on it and a soft yellow cardigan with matching Mary janes to go with it.

Everything about Delilah’s wardrobe spoke to who she was. Her clothes would show her innocence and juvenile spirit. It made the world aware that she wasn’t quite knowledgeable in the cruelties of the world.

Downstairs at the mahogany table is where her breakfast would be ready, two poached eggs on toast with a bowl of fruit and a glass of water. While she ate she would read the Daily Gazette that Charles Maddox was the owner of. She was a fan of journalism and sometimes wondered what it would be like to get into the world of journalism. If you looked at Delilah as if she were a puzzle to be solved you would see various pieces from the neighbourhood she grew up in. She took up the piano because she could remember hearing the beautiful and majestic melodies flood her ears whenever Nancy would play. Sometimes the daughter of Epione would come over just to listen to Nancy play, until the day Nancy taught her how to play.

Delilah’s need to try journalism came from Charles, she read his work all the time and admired the way he could paint a picture with words and she could almost feel as if she were being whisked away to someplace else. To harness that ability would be an absolute dream of hers.

The last bit of her routine would be walking over to the little church on the other side of New Rome from her house, it was about a thirty minute walk from her home, but it was nice walk.

The whole day she had felt good, but for some reason she felt dread as she stood in front of the little church. Looking at it she felt the nerves creep in almost as if the Devil were behind her and wrapping his arms around her to tempt her not to go at all. Delilah pushed passed the feeling before it would consume her as she walked up the stone path towards the door of the church.

Pushing the heavy wooden door open the inside of the church was revealed to her. The tiny little aisle marked with brown mat going up to where the marble altar that had a carving of Jesus hanging on the cross and she swore it was staring right at her from the time she opened to the door to the moment she shut it and the muted lighting had engulfed her.

The place was quiet and still, nothing could disturb the peace that was in the church. Looking up passed the altar was the beautiful artwork of six feet stained glass windows and on either side of the aisle were dark oak pews .

Before she could make her way to sit down in one of the pews to sit there and read through some of the passages she wanted to read she could hear a voice come out that almost startled her.

“Delilah Lockwood, I didn’t expect to see you in my church after what happened two weeks ago. Thank you for the generous donation to help get the beautiful chandelier replaced.” He said as he came out of the shadows with a smile on his face. “It sure is a shame, it was a real treasure to have in the church. It feels a little darker in here without it.”

“Oh, Father Frederick, I am so sorry about that. It will never happen again.” She said in reply to him before continuing on, “Thank you again for not telling my father about it, I don’t know what I’d do if he found out.”

“Of course child, anything to help one of our dedicated members.” He said and began to take a few steps forward so he was at the front of the aisle. “Come here for a moment Delilah, I have something for you.”

The girl was a little confused as to what he could possibly have for her. She was the one who had just ruined an expensive chandelier and had given him money, but she was not going to judge until she knew more of what was going on. Her feet began to go one in front of the other and it almost felt as if the aisle had grown longer and longer and the feeling of dread was sinking in again. It felt like the devil was creeping up on her, but she just took a deep breath to push the feelings down. Churches were a safe haven from all things evil, she’d be fine.
She was a couple steps away from Father Frederick when he had put his hand out to stop her from walking any further. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment and extended his arm out to her with such a steady grip, she didn’t even understand how he did it. Her arm reached out and she took the piece of parchment paper and looked down at it and back up at him about to ask for permission to open it and almost as if her could read her mind he nodded.

Unfolding the piece of parchment she could see something written in ink in a fancy cursive and upon reading it, it turned out to be a prayer. “A prayer?” She asked him as she looked up to see the menacing grin on his face.

“Yes a prayer, you have some sins to atone for Delilah Lockwood. Follow me child.” He said and without even waiting for her answer he turned on his heel and began to walk towards the shadowed part of the church, to the left where there seemed to be a door among the shadows.

The young brunette felt her feet move for her. One after the other but almost shakily, like she was little Bambi learning how to walk for the very first time. Her hand clutch the parchment in her hand as her body carried her, her mind feeling numb and not having a single clue what was going on. It wasn’t until the door closed behind her and that she was in complete darkness when she figured it out, not only was she in the grasps of the Devil, she was in his lair.

-Present day; Morning; July 2nd-

It had officially been three weeks after Delilah’s return from getting the necklace. In some ways she wonders if she could pin back all the darkness coming into her life to that moment. The moment Finn had to find out that she was in fact related to her and the moment the chandelier came crashing down. The chandelier was almost a metaphor for her life, because at this point it felt like her life was crashing down and all the little pieces that made her life good were smashing one by one like each of the lights.

It was yet another dreadful Sunday. Her will to live on the holiest of days was growing less and less. How could you push yourself to want to get up and keep going into the pits of hell? Why keep walking through the pits and greeting everything with open arms, making yourself a bigger target? Delilah couldn’t understand half the things that were happening to her anymore, the whole thing felt as if her soul were draining slowly like the blood when they take a sample. The brunette blinked her eyes as she looked over to her sheets. There light spots on the upper half of the bed and if you lined them up with her back, they’d probably match perfectly.

Her eyelids shut before her and all she could see was the darkness. It was like being back in the pits again, having the feeling of your whole mindset shift as you kneeled there before the figure of God. Feeling your brain slowly contradict itself as you start to feel a state of euphoria for being there, you want to worship the ground you walk on you want to repeat that prayer over and over again. Life just feels so good and you can’t get enough of it, that is until the Holy water comes out.

Father Frederick convinces you that the water is there to help you release your demons and at first it sounds fair, it sounds like you could use that, to get the demons out of you. There had been so many demons that encircled her life it would be nice to be born again, until you realize it isn’t quite Holy Water.

As each lick of Holy Water hits her exposed back it burns. The searing pain is something she had never quite felt before and almost felt as if her skin was being eaten away with each hit. The first few ones results in winces from the daughter of Epione, but it only grows and grows to become more unbearable and instead of the euphoric state she was in before, she’s not in a sobbing state with the only form of comfort is being told her demons are releasing.

Her eyelids open again revealing the pristine room, the soft off white colour of the curtains and the light oak flooring beneath her. Her room was an airy and beautiful place to look at and almost calmed her down from the flash back she just had.

In truth part of her just didn’t want to get up because she felt like complete and utter crap. There was no way to sugar code it, but in some way it felt like she had been hit with a truck and a heavy weight of sadness had been dropped on her shoulders to keep her from getting back up, she couldn’t explain properly what it was like to go from extreme highs to extreme lows.

The house was quiet, especially since Jules had left and her father was gone half the time selling prosthetic in Los Angeles to people who needed them for whatever reason, so Delilah didn’t expect him to be home today and most of the serving staff at her house had the day off this Sunday. Once a month they got a complete weekend off. Other than that they’d get partial days off. No one was here today, which meant she was free to roam the house without having to work so hard to painfully cover up everything.

In the mirror she had already noticed the red marks on her back and the fresh open wounds where the Holy Water had hit her. Some parts from weeks ago were just blackened skin, dead skin. After that she would notice the purple and greenish coloured bruises on her skin, ones on her arms and her throat in the shape of hand prints almost or if that fingers. Just seeing the sight in the mirror brought tears to her eyes and as hard as she’d try no shower would wash away the pain or the memories associated with the damage down to her body.

The one place she felt would calm her down was her back yard. It was quaint with a little garden of various flowers and bushes. It had a little pond near the back left corner near the gazebo which is where Delilah spent a lot of time out here. Her bare feet had hit the mixture of soft grass and cold circular stones that’d lead up to the back corner.

She could remember Jules and her running around back here when they were younger, this place was so special in the sense only her and Jules had been in it, the only kids to have ever been back here, it was like their own little piece of good away from everything else. They’d stay up late and talk on the gazebo steps, just about anything and everything. Jules would fill her in on all the happenings of her life about how Jimothy had a crush on her, but she wasn’t really into him, and how she had this big crush on Augustine for so long, but never thought to act on it, especially after Alivia and Augustine had their thing going on. In some ways Lilah looked up to her older sister and lived through her.

Just like all those long talks in the summer nights before, Delilah was sitting on the steps of the gazebo staring out over to the pond. You could hear the various birds singing and chirping in the distance as she sat there, you could hear the rustling of the leafs that were just barely hanging onto the tree. Most of them had fallen off in the winter, but some still remained.

The ripples in the water made her stare longer and harder into the water, it had reminded her of the other part of her Sunday’s now, what was considered routine. It was almost as if her were trying to baptize her over and over again, he’d hold her under for ten seconds, pull her back up to breathe before shoving her back down for twenty seconds. She remembered the feeling of gasping for air with the mixture of choking on water as she did so right before he’d shove her back under for thirty seconds, this time she’d struggle and try to pry herself back up, but his grip in her hair had been far too much.

She remembered last week that she had lost all consciousness, but she wasn’t sure for how long she had been out for. All she could remember was her body trembling and she was told she was done atoning for her sin that day and he’d expect to see her again the following Sunday. The thought alone brought those tears back to her eyes. The ones that brought the memory of the pain and suffering back...Delilah would have broken into sobs if she hadn’t been pulled away from her thoughts.

She must have not heard the steps in the garden and the call out for her name because by the time it registered that her dad was coming, it was too late to go and hide. To go cover up so he couldn’t see the damage that was done. A feeling of being scared sunk into her as she seen the confusion on his face as he got closer and closer to her.

Only feeling that could fill up the void of so many things in the young girl’s heart was disappointment. She dreaded once he would put the pieces together to ask her what happened and she’d have to tell her dad what happened with the chandelier and how she lied to him to get the money to pay him off, but what she heard out of his mouth wasn’t anything she was expecting.

“Lilah?” He asked with worry in his voice and he quickened his pace over to her and immediately held her hand and stretched out her arm so he could look at her and survey what happened. In the midst of looking at her he noticed the black skin and open wounds on his daughter’s back and he could only feel anger and sadness pooling inside of him.

There was a level of frustration and disbelief when he seen it. How could this happen? Who did this? It was hard to think straight with the world turning red in front of him, but he tried his best to softened his feature when he looked at his daughter’s face which had torment and sadness written all across it. There wasn’t much else he could think to do but sit next to her and embrace her gently.

“What happened to you?” He asked sincerely and with extreme caution. He held her at arms length apart and seen how broken she was. “Delilah, I promise you I will make whoever did this pay. I don’t care who it is.”

There was just silence, but he could feel his daughter lean into him as if she were five again and she were getting sleepy and just wanted to cuddle on his lap while he did paper work. William Lockwood had an extreme soft spot for his youngest daughter and always felt as if she needed the protection more than anyone else. It was why he wanted her to have a belief in God to make her feel as if no matter where she was she would be protected. He never wanted to see her hurt or in danger, he didn’t want to see his child heart broke, but in that moment he felt as if he were a failure and that was what hurt the most.

He felt so powerless, that even though he tried to build as many safe places for his children it ultimately failed. Even though he tried so hard to set them up for a lifetime of happiness it could all be tarnished in a second. It was only a few moments he could feel her body tremor as she sobbed, and it took everything for the man who claimed to have no emotion not cry in this moment. He would do anything to fix this for her, anything.

Mr.Lockwood stroked her hair and held her as she cried. All this time he built his life around trying to keep the evil out, to keep people like he used to be out of his daughter’s lives. That’s why when he got a chance to design his house he decided to make it as private as possible, he wanted it to be their safe place to always come back to, a place where they didn’t have to be around others if they didn’t want to. A place they could have peace, and in some selfish ways having them want to be home a lot just meant he got more chances to watch them grow up. Once Delilah had fallen asleep in his arms he picked her up carefully and carried her back inside the house. He would have just put her back in his bed, but he almost didn’t trust his own home anymore, so he placed her on the couch in his study and once she was peacefully sleeping he found the blanket he had covered her up with numerous times when she was younger and said ‘I can do it! I can stay up and help you daddy!’ those days had been long gone when he had grown cold to her and he’d have a lifetime of regretting it.

---

When she finally begins to regain some sort of consciousness the last thing she can remember is being held by her father while she sobbed herself to sleep. It had been a long time since she had seen him so soft and had seen so much worry in him. It made her feel almost as if she could tell him everything about it.

Delilah felt as safe as she had when she was five, it felt warm and sunny to be with her father for the first time in a long time. It made her just want to live in his office and feel the warmth for the rest of her days, she wanted to not feel the crappy way she had before.

She was about to open her eyes, when she heard her father’s voice on the phone.

“You have to promise me, that if anything happens to me you will take care of my daughter’s or you will get the whole neighbourhood to watch out for them. “ There was some silence for awhile before he said something again, “I don’t know what’s going to happen Sam, I’m just planning for the worst.”

After a little bit longer the call ended, and eventually Delilah sat up. This time when her father asked her about what happened and who did it, she started from the very beginning telling her father everything that had happened and while she did he took care to her wounds and worked on paper work at his desk. In a weird turn of events it truly felt like the old days again, minus the wounds and add the hair braiding, painting of nails, and Jules, her father William really suited a nice pink on his nails.

-Present Day; Evening; July 2nd-

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; “ Delilah had been spending most of the day with her father, but when she had left to go get the old photo albums to take a look at while they waited for Juliana to show up she heard the front door open and close. At first she figured maybe Juliana showed up early and she came down the stairs to greet her, “Jules I almost forgot about these photos, I can’t wait to show Augustine.” Then as she got to the bottom of the stairs in the foyer she noticed no one was there. She was about to go look around the house for her father, but that’s when she heard the car leave.

The short brunette walked out of the front door and surveyed the area, she watched as her father sped off in the car. Where could he have been going? She pondered it for a few moments, but when she realized what he had said earlier about wanting to fix it all for her she realized where he was going and immediately began to start running off in the direction of the little church. “where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.”

She could only run as fast as her feet could carry her through the streets of New Rome. She had just gotten her father back to a state she hadn’t seen in so long and Delilah would do anything to keep that. All the pieces were falling in line now as she was starting to understand what would happen. Lilah didn’t want to lose her father, not so soon after she just got him back. “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; “

It wasn’t long before she seen the car parked smashing into the fence outside of the little church and the door ajar. There had been a small trail of blood and she could feel her heart in her chest as she realized she was too late, but she was already walking towards the mess. Insider the church she followed the trail of blood, but stopped in her tracks once she seen where the blood was coming from.  There were nails in Father Frederick’s wrists as he was nailed to the cross, but his body was lifeless, if you looked close enough you could see his neck jarred in a certain way, a truly grueling sight.  “for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,”

In the next few moments a match came out of nowhere being thrown onto the body of the priest as he lit up like a torch making the church brighter than it has ever been before. Delilah was too stunned to move, but felt herself being picked up by her father and she watched the scene as the rest of the church slowly began to light up in the orange and yellow flames of destruction until they were out at the car watching the building burn.

“and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. But you, Father Frederick will not be born to eternal life. Shall you walk the pits of hell as you made me walk them."