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Fauna
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Chalice Walker

Sat Mar 23, 2019 7:57 pm
Chalice Walker Combination-of-Red-Hair-and-Brown-Eyes
Name: Chalice Walker
Nickname/s: Valkyrie Leader Chalice
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Birthday: April 14th
Sexuality: Lesbian

Personality: She's a bully and doesn't take crap from people. She's always been one to take command and isn't one to take orders unless its beneficial to winning a battle. However she's not as stupid as some people believe she is. She's fairly keen and cunning, able to exploit any sort of advantage she has to win. Although fairly easy to anger and willing to pick a fight with anyone who challenges her. There are rare times when she isn't pissed off and trying to fight people that she can be somewhat nice, nice being a relative term, but nice none the less. Some also say that one of the many reasons she gets pissed off is "private time" frustration, but she denies this, even if she eyes some of the other girls, she's ironically shy when it comes to asking another girl out.
Eye color: Dark Brown
Hair description: Long Dark Red (Dyed)
Height: 5 foot 9 inches
Skin tone: Tan
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Body structure: Slender yet well toned, is a lot stronger then she looks
Personal Appearance: Her hair, although left loose, isn't messy. She stands at 5 foot 9 inches tall and tends to wear a red tank top with a picture of the we can do it woman on it, but wearing greek armor. She wears black leggings with red roses down either side with what seems to be blood running down them and wears red wedge heeled military boots. She has a ample chest and although appearing slender while clothed, underneath, she's pretty well toned with clear muscle showing, so anyone thinking she looked weak would be in for a nasty surprise.
Scars/Tattoos/Piercings/etc: She has some stretch marks around her body, mainly from intense physical training she's done over the course of her life, although she recent got a tattoo on her mark of a woman with long white hair in armor, holding a spear and shield and long black wings, the wings extended up to her shoulders. Below it has a fancy curled banner like a open scroll with writing in greek "I kólasi sas periménei", which translates to "Hell Awaits You".
Clothing Style: Her clothing style seems to be a mix of tight gothic workout clothes, military clothes and armor (when she requires it).
Other details?:

Place of Birth: Texas, United States of America
Mortal Parent: Diana Walker
Godly Parent: Ares
Relationship to Godly Parent: Daughter
Abilities (doesn't use energy to do):
Instinct of War: Her innate ability and nature to fight and battle means she learns any weapon very easier and anything related to war and battle. It's also enhances her already sharp reactions, making her more or less impossible to sneak up on.
Máchi Giatroú (Battlefield Doctor): Chalice has a enhanced healing factor, which outside of combat, is slow, but during combat, it is faster to repair cuts, but anything beyond surface damage is beyond its ability to heal, although it can greatly aid in the recovery process
Powers (uses energy to do):
Énklima (Warbreaker): Chalice becomes surrounded by red mist, her eyes white and her skin turns red. While in this state, she becomes incredibly strong and becomes unaffected by things that would stun most people like pain. However, the damage taken remains as normal and she becomes entirely focused on the fight itself, only coming out of it if she is snapped out of it by someone else or her enemy is dead. She also looses most of her higher thought processes, becoming a mindless berserker with no feelings or remorse, only the rage of Ares that flows through her and the death of her enemy. Once brought out of it, she must be fully healed before being able to reenter that state again as using it tends to tear muscle fibers in her body as she is using strength beyond her normal human limits, so its cooldown, depending on how injured she was during the fight and if she is being healed, can be anything from a hour to multiple days on end.
Weapons: To keep on her person while in the mortal world, she has a skull necklace with a spear through it. At a simple tap, it transforms into a celestial bronze spear.
Pets (if any): N/A

History: Like many of Ares's "conquests", he found her mother at a bar, working as the bartender and, at the weekends, stripper. She fell in love with Ares. I mean, who could turn down a hunky, badass biker and she always had a thing for muscular men. They had a fling and traveled around the country for a bit before returning to Texas where she asked him if he wouldn't mind knocking her up as she wanted to become a single mom. He agreed to bang his "babe" and after one night of intense passion and love making, she did intend end up pregnant, unaware of the fact she had just being knocked up by the god of war. He left about a week after Chalice was born and as she requested, left her to become a single mother.

Chalice, while growing up, well, to call her a delinquent would be a understatement; When she was at school, she was a bully to most kids and anyone resisting would quickly find themselves in the nurse's office. She broke things and was repeatedly scolded by the principle for bad behavour. The only thing that ever seemed to calm her down was her mother. Although she wasn't behind in classes per say, but she wasn't exactly at the front of the class either, not really helped by her reluctance to listen to the teacher or her dyslexia screwing her up when she was trying to study.

Even into her early teens, she ran a street gang called the Valkyries, a all female gang she lead, they tended to fight other gangs and get people to pay for their "protection". In her off time when she was rearranging someone's face, she worked out and practice martial arts; making her quite strong for a girl her age. Yet whenever she spent time with the other Valkyries in her group or looking at other girls, she felt a longing to go out with them, yet her inability to go up to one in fear of being rejected only adding to her annoyance. Although due to her rough attitude and ironic shyness in asking another girl out, she was left to fester these feelings with no outlet to vent besides fighting.

Then, one day, the sign came as a blood red symbol of a helmet, surrounded by chains and spears floated above her and its when "they" started to come; well, they looked like people, but despite all the training she had done, they were inhumanly strong, she swore she saw one with the head of a bull. It was then she found one of her own Valkyries was a female satyr, who had felt something special about her and joined her gang to follow her and see if she was right. She explained that her father was in fact the greek god of war, Ares and that she knew of a safe space for "people like her". Not wanting to argue as she was on the run from these things, she followed her friend across the stats, hitchhiking cars or anything on four wheels till they got to long island and she was lead to camp half-blood, where she found she wasn't the only child of Ares and had a bunch of half-sisters and brothers who were all just as pissed and fight hungry as she was. In a strange way, it felt good to be among them as she felt like for once in her life, she fit in; these half-siblings had the same passion for fighting and battle that she did. And so, until the current day, she trained in the art of war and all its facilities; using weapons came as second nature and learning the power brought through her blood as a daughter of the god of war.
Memory: Her most pleasent memory, outside of forming the Valkyries was a day out with her mother during the summer break when they went to the beach, had a open BBQ and simply enjoyed each others' company and watched the waves come in and out; it's something she remembers in order to snap herself out of Énklima.
Notes: N/A


Last edited by Fauna on Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:26 pm; edited 4 times in total
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sat Mar 30, 2019 2:14 pm
Nicknames:
-I'd just take the censored one out all together. There's nothing that really explains that in her form so I find the swear very unnecessary and demeaning. It could still be a nickname for her, but I feel it should be left out.

Ethnicity:
"White American" isn't exactly an ethnicity. This one doesn't need to be changed, but I'd recommend you change it to caucasian. Usually you can write heritage and stuff in the history anyways.

Physical Appearance:
-The bra size of a character seems a little more than pg-13 and most people unless they're females and they wear bras wont really get what means anyways. You could opt for things like "Busty" if you wanted something a little more pg-13.

(?)Teddy Parent
-What is that supposed to mean? Just change it to God Parent.

History:
-"she felt a longing as well as frustration between her legs" Just take that out, that's too explicit for a pg-13 site. I understand some of us are more adults on this site, but there are still some young-uns here as well as we have to adhere to forumotion rules too.
-This one is more of a suggestion than an actual 'you need to fix' but it just seems very awkward and not realistic to ask someone to knock you up because you want to be a single mom. Like if she realistically asked that of a guy who wasn't a god, that conversation would have been a giant mess and she'd have been seen as a crazy woman. Basically it just doesn't seem realistic, so like I said that's just more of a suggestion of something to edit, but this point doesn't need to be edited.

(Since this is a detailed form and there's already a few things to tackle, I'll get into abilities and powers after these changes have been made.)

Good start on the detailed form so far though!
Fauna
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:07 pm
Nicknames: Removed

Ethicity: changed, I only said that because I couldn't remember what the correct term was.

Physical appearance: changed to ample, although personality speaking, giving her bra size isn't as explicit as saying she's busty since that sounds more explicit then just a bra size. But hey, that's just my opinion, not gonna argue with the mod.

God parent: sorry, that was because I have a word replacer mod on my laptop so whenever god is put into a word, it changes to teddy and I didn't realize that happened till you mentioned it, sorry about that.

History: Removed that section.
second part: I have seen cases of people asking to become single moms, so It's not as unrealistic as you might think.

As for abilities, at least for most: I think they are fairly balanced, even the berserker state has a ton of downsides to it. Although I'm going to guess living armoury has some issues, right?
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:14 pm
I just meant I'd look at the powers separately because I have just now finished reading those.

The only one I have a problem with is Zoí Oplostásio (Living Armoury):
The only reason why i do is because it just needs some limitations. How many times can she do this per post? Is there any energy drain? Is there a cool down post count? Also I'd suggest putting a max amount of weapons she can store in that at once, maybe like 8-10.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:20 pm
I kinda thought so.

1. Can you clarify on how many times per post? in terms of what are you referring to? yes, there's a energy drain as its in the ability/energy draining sections. Although not really sure since it doesn't necessary take energy to take things out of it. Maybe might need to move it to non-energy drain abilities, but adjust it from there and also remove the self firing arrow storm to a seperate ability that does take energy. The weapon limit is acceptable. Please get back to me on the other points however
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:34 pm
Like she has this inventory right? Well I would assume if it's in the powers section it'd need a cool down time. Like for example, she can pull something out of the inventory, but then she has to wait two posts before she can pull something else out. Kind of thing.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:36 pm
Ah, I see; well, maybe instead of a cool down, let's say if she brings something out from her private storage dimension, she has to return that weapon to bring another out?
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:38 pm
Yeah that can work to, and if she loses that item she can't grab anything from the inventory until after the fight would be my recommendation.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:40 pm
that would make it really weak though. A better solution is that if she's disarmed at any point, the weapon, instead of falling to the ground, returns to the pocket dimension, where she has to spend her time taking out another weapon. That would be a good compromise I think
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:58 pm
It's either the cool down suggestion or my suggestion before that, sorry. Take one or leave it. It'd make it weak, but powers can't be over powered either.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 7:18 pm
it really doesn't seem that overpowered when its just a magic locker for all intensive purposes. Also, as I said, I'll be shifting the arrow storm to a different thing altogether, so look at it purely as the name suggests, a living armoury and nothing more then that. I don't really understand why my suggestion that she can only have one weapon from her armoury at any one time such a OP thing?
Pike
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 8:46 pm
All powers must have a max amount of time they can be used per topic. This is because they'll need to take energy. She wouldn't be able to take weapons out an unlimited amount of time. I would suggest about 5-6 times per topic with a 1 post cool down.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:20 pm
but what reason would this make sense? because that doesn't really make sense to me really, considering other abilities I've seen, this is a minor ability. Hence why I suggested making it so she can only take out one weapon at a time and to take out another one, she'd have to stow the current one away. Ignore the energy thing for a moment, considering that I'm planning to move this to the none-energy costing thing, I want to hear a actual in universe reason why she can only take out 5-6 weapons per thread when she's probably been training this ability since she got to the camp and refined it so she can take whichever single weapon she has in her pocket dimension out at will. So, I honest don't understand why to force a limit on something when its not really necessary when its literally just a magic storage dimension she has a set amount of weapons and her armor.
Pike
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:23 pm
even then its significant enough that i wouldn't allow it to be an ability. you can either add the limitations as i've given them to you or remove the power.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:25 pm
then I might as well remove it because the limitations you've set make absolutely no sense, I can't stress that enough that considering the powers of others that don't have such topic-limited powers, this seems rather unfair.
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 1:03 pm
Just needs a census code and it’s good to go.
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 1:37 pm
posted it to the census like I'm meant to
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 1:57 pm
Actually all census codes are supposed to be in character forms. You only had to post it in the topic when the character was approved prior to the census being created.
Fauna
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 2:17 pm
does it matter? or do I have to repeat the same thing in two threads? especially since the character app isn't even linked in the census, so no one will see it anyway
Fauna
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 3:34 pm
Ok, if your going to be that petty about it, here, since you don't want to go to the census:
Code:
Chalice Walker[i](Fauna)[/i], Cabin 5
Astoria
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

Tue Apr 02, 2019 3:45 pm
1. Obey the staff of the site
2. Be polite and respectful to the site and other members
11. Don't double post or spam

You have infringed on these rules more than once and I’ve let a few of them slide, but I am now giving you an official warning.

You character is approved though, thank you kindly for putting the census code in, I appreciate it.
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Chalice Walker Empty Re: Chalice Walker

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